Becoming One: A Reflection of my First Year of Marriage

In light of my first anniversary today, I took a moment to reflect on some of the things that I’ve learned in my first year of marriage. This year seemed to fly by when I look back on it, but I can’t deny the immense growth and wisdom I’ve gained in just one year. I thank God for this year, and I look forward to what else the future holds. I want to share with you some of the things that I’ve reflected on.

Marriage is a strength-based team.

As two become one, you’re no longer two separate individuals. Everything that you or your spouse does has a direct impact on your livelihood, from personality traits and eating habits, to strengths and weaknesses. One thing that I’ve learned this year was that it’s better to work together as a strength-based team than it is to focus on the weaknesses that either of you may bring to the marriage. In Matthew 18:19-20, Jesus talks about the power of agreement. If two of us on Earth agree, then we can have whatever we ask for. At the foundation of a strength-based team is the agreement that you will work together based on each other’s strengths. There is no magnification of one person’s faults or inability to do something, because that’s why you’re a team. In a marriage there is power in agreement, and the amount of work you can get done together is much greater than the work you can achieve separately.

Relationships perfect you.

Another point I wanted to share, was that godly relationships help to perfect you. Godly marriages, in particular, bring out the best qualities in a person over time. It doesn’t matter how many weaknesses a person thinks they have or how unqualified they feel for marriage, if God is calling you to it then He will perfect you in His timing. Just keep focusing on the strengths in your marriage and the strengths that you offer. God will work out the rest. If the union between two people is so powerful, of course the enemy would want to do everything he can to separate it. Don’t let the enemy break-up a powerful agreement, by focusing too much on weaknesses that God is already handling.

Becoming one takes time, patience, and effort.

In Genesis 2:24, after God created woman the scripture says “…a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Noticing that the words used to describe the oneness of the husband and wife are, “they shall become,” insinuates to me that it’s not a sudden and immediate occurrence. The day that you get married, is not the day that you become one with your husband or wife. In just the one year that I’ve been married, I’ve learned that becoming one is in fact a journey. Getting the opportunity to spend your life with your spouse and experience life in godliness together with your spouse is what causes the oneness to grow. Being patient with yourself and continually putting in the effort to foster the relationship God has given you to steward is the blessing that comes from marriage!


These are all the points I wanted to share! Thanks for reading, and I hope it was encouraging and/or enlightening to those who are newly-wedded or those who hope to get married one day.


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